During a conversation with my homegirl, we rehashed situations that didn’t turn out the way we’d hoped. Relationships that were a waste of time. Horrible first kisses. Wack sexual experiences… We finally landed on the topic of timing your first romp in the sheets with a guy. Good girls don’t kiss on the first date, much less hop on the peen…but…what if they did? Now, before I get the “Oooooooh! You bustin’ it open on the first date?!” Kindly sit in a corner and calm your nerves. Whether I do or don’t isn’t the issue at hand. The issue is if a female is extremely sexually attracted to a male but wants to be more than a one-night stand/cut buddy/jump-off/side piece, what are her options?
I’ve talked to a number of males and have gotten SO many different answers to “how soon is too soon?” One guy said “First date? That just lets me know she knows what she wants.” Another “Man…I don’t know. How many other guys has she been with?” No wonder females are confused. Heck, society has YET to get used to the idea of females being just as sexual as males, but COME ON! What’s up the mixed signals? (And men have the nerve to say women are complicated. Pfft!) I know of situations where a chick got it on with her date the first night, and is now in a strong, committed relationship, engaged and/or married to the guy. I also know of situations where after that first encounter…there weren’t anymore encounters, or the relationship became solely about sex. Most females aren’t comfortable being the booty call and want to avoid any action that leads to the dreadful outcome.
So…what’s a girl to do?
Personally? I say live life with no regrets. If you think to yourself “I shouldn’t do this,” don’t do it. Save yourself that depression/anxiety/negativity. BUT (and this is a strong but), if you’re mentally at ease, in your RIGHT mind (don’t try to blame it on those Cocolosos), the only thing you can think about is how good his lips feel kissing on your neck and how long it’s been since you’ve had some…charge it to the game, put on your cowgirl boots, hand him a condom (safety first!) and saddle up. Hopefully, he’ll call you again and you two can build something beyond the sheets.
I say this often, but it’s because I believe it: We’re too grown for this! And by this, I mean to play games and not be honest with ourselves, with each other and with our bodies. If the two of you are digging each other-why not explore the sexual tension?
I’m just sayin…